I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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