i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You made out with two different species that night
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
