His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
