It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
