Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
