you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
