it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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