Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
