That's when you crack a 10am beer
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
