If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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