I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I believe in your delicious
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
