Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
