It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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