I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Never underestimate the power of titties
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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