if you like me you must not know who I am
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
