I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you would pick up someone in the library
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
