i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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