dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
