I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
