Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
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