I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
it was like eating out sand paper
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
