we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
