I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
