I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Don't make out with my wife yet
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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