i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I've blown a few things in my day
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
