It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Ketchup is God's man juice
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I wear drunk well.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
