She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
