I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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