I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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