..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
