Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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