...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
