I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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