Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
