I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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