Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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