Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
