dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
God, I missed his penis.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
