Nicole vs. Life
I've blown a few things in my day
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
