she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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