does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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