"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
