"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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