It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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