your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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