Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
