she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize