We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
