So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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