it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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