Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
