Will you blow on my dice?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
