oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We don't watch enough power rangers
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
